Yiddish: If grandma had a beard, she would be a grandpa.

אױב די באָבע װאָלט געהאַט אַ באָרד, װאָלט זי געװען אַ זײדע.‏

Oyb di bobe volt gehat a bord, volt zi geven a zeyde.

If grandma had a beard, she would be a grandpa.

Wishing can't change anything. It's pointless to speculate about counterfactual situations.   SOURCE: Matisoff, Blessings, Curses, Hopes, and Fears.  Variations:

.ווען די באָבע זאָל האָבן אייער, װאָלט זי געװען אַ זײדע
Ven di bobe zol hobn eyer, volt zi geven a zeyde.
If grandma had balls, she would be a grandpa.

SOURCE: Furman, Yidishe Shprikhverter un Rednsartn

.ווען די באָבע וואָלט געהאַט אַ באָרד וואָלט זי געדאַוונט פֿאַרן עמוד
Ven di bobe volt gehat a bord, volt zi gedavnt farn omed.
If grandma had a beard, she would stand at the bima and daven.

Literal translation:  If grandma had a beard, she would daven at the cantor's pulpit (synagogue lectern).
SOURCE: Stutchkoff, Der Oytser fun der Yidisher Shprakh

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